Real Xtreme Paintball's Blog

Insufficient oxytocin release is one reason for cheating. in the nearly one thousand men and women I’ve tested for oxytocin release, about two percent have highly dysregulated oxytocin release patterns. these people have impaired romantic attachments and many more sexual partners than most others. Dysregulated oxytocin release can be caused by either a genetic disorder or an insufficient amount of nurturing in the first ten years of life.

In other men, insufficient arginine vasopressin can make one lackadaisical about defending a mate from other men. Arginine vasopressin is a hormone cousin to oxytocin and is part of the “keep the couple together” system. A variant of the arginine vasopressin receptor gene was recently found to be associated with having an unhappy marriage. in several studies from my lab, we have found little effect of arginine vasopressin on partner attachment, but it still may play a role. Jealousy can be adaptive as evolutionary psychologist David Buss argued in his 2000 book on the topic.

Lastly, my lab has shown that high levels of testosterone change the brain’s cost-benefit calculation toward the current and self, rather than taking a long-term view that includes others’ needs. Testosterone has a potent effect on libido, too. High testosterone males cheat more, divorce more, spend less time with their children, but are also highly focused and driven. Testosterone is sensitive to a man’s social position–testosterone rises in men that attain high status.

My recent appearance on the Dr. Phil show prodded me to develop some simple tests for infidelity that expose the impact of this soup of chemicals. while there is no perfect test for whether a man will cheat, I will give you a list of things to look at. most are subtle and below our conscious awareness. if enough of these factors line up, it might be time to worry. You could even make this a fun game to play with your mate as a way to discuss the topic of cheating. Please give me feedback and let me know how well it works.

1. Measure resting heart rate

2. Measure testosterone